The Character I chose is Lily, and I'm going to write about her exciting weekend.
My eyes blinked open. I moaned, realizing it was Saturday, meaning I had loads of chores. I shook one leg out of the covers, feeling for the floor. The other one jutted out of the comforter and I dragged myself to my feet. I pulled on a tank top and jeans, then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I emerged from the bathroom, then went down the hall to the kitchen.
There i saw May and Rosaleen hunched over a cookbook, apparently making a honey and chocolate pie. I then looked over to the piano, and saw June playing a lovely song. Peering out the window, I found August in her bee keeping outfit, tending to her precious bees. A lovely sight, I thought, so glad that I left T-Ray. If only I could keep up this charade for a little while longer, learn more about my mom, then tell the the truth. Just a little while longer, that's all.
I snuck out to meet August, making sure not to disturb the peace of the quirky pink house. "Er, hey." I managed to squeak out. She looked so in her element that I didn't want to disturb her, but I knew my chores had to be done. "Good Morning, sleepy head. You slept late!" She exclaimed, tossing me my netting and my long sleeve shirt. "Ready for a day of work?" She smiled. "Yeah August, let's go."
Good job showing not telling, though I thought you might have been able to say what some of the chores that she has to do are. Just an idea.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you totally made the writing you made sound like the dialogue in the story! I can so believe that it actually happened! =)
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